Lost in the heady undergrowth, the great willows pass.
Standing proud in the face of permafrost, melting fast.
The tall grass holding fortress, lifeforce, phantom limbs, death rattle on the way.
The twilight of fall, harsh winter to come, green into grey.
Indifferent, lack of breaking sun in the passing day.
Thankful to a giving earth, owned by every birth.
Freedom in breath, where life here ends.
Then begins again.
I can’t go on like this.
A lifetime of conformity, leading to this moment.
Bound by the martyr-less thieves,
undermining the blessings of the free.
And all those who search for truth.
Every lie of reality shared by the few.
I pass the willows, one last time.
Standing proud in the tall grass.
Leaving no answers.
Sand scatters about at my feet, so sweet, how I missed this. Every year, piled in the wagon with plastic luggage in tow. Me and my bro, the back seat without belts, playing on the car floor, He-man and GI Joe playing in the same universe, without a care, with nowhere to go. Scrolling towards the unknowing freedom.
It was there, now it looks like a tall tale. Some long-winded story of days past and boardwalks free of trash, where we ran barefoot as heat retreats with each step. I’m lost in this memory, only temporary. The seagulls coast overhead. Even the sun finds shade in the clouds now and then.
Sift the air, sand in my hair, breathing in each salty breath as if we’re still there.
That moment when I understood, my children grow as youth eludes, the ground broken for them to proceed as I fade into the background. You’re just a kid, I know.
Believe it when I tell you I was there. The well-trafficked blue grey carpet allowed my little feet to discover adolescents as I stacked the stuffies by the edge of my bed. There was Snoopy, sleepy dog, a non-descript pillow or two. No monsters could break this fortress, no baddies, no divorce or job loss, no wrinkles forming at the edge of my lashes where the tears dry and the salt streaks on my cheeks. That would come, not today.
I squint to see the room where I grew, where I hid, where I had my first drink, my doting parents unknowing that childhood softens as the numbness sets in. I don’t know you anymore, son. Maybe I never knew you.
I can’t stay here, I can’t leave. Time won’t suspend as the wrinkles acquiesce, no innocent on an aging face. No place like home, no time to age with grace.
I cherished these moments. Each waking hour you suffocate the light so I can breathe.
But what are we as one, or to falter at the footsteps of another man’s needs. Without pause, our greatest feat, to feel like we belong so we can matter. When the only consumption of mind muddles the landfill with all we could gather. Thoughts and trails of relationship graveyards, each one marked for expiration and awaiting dead flowers, marveled, the onlookers watch from afar. I can see the procession, I’m looking from my rearview. I can’t turn away.
You made up your mind, and I’m fine, so glad your acceptance means something to someone.
I’ve found this new path, my home, and I’ll adventure alone, you gotta walk before you run, or wither under the weight of your position… like an unused loaded gun, I felt like I was the only one, to perish in the sun. Shooting blanks across uncharted lands, so we can say we tried to save another man. As the heat scorched our souls, we retreated with new goals, of attainment and enlightenment, divide and delight, unhappy gods watching from threshed clouds and miracles promised.
Pulled out from under like a rug, feeling the chamber empty into oblivion, left perished under the sun.
I’m in love with a girl,
halfway across the world.
And it feels like I know her
even though we’ve never met.
I can’t tell you how this feels,
nor relay, the isolation and dismay
so many previous days brought.
I never longed for you, never knew this could be true, cause I’ve toiled amidst daydreams, impermanence, feeling left out.
Then you came, you appeared,
as if the stars could no longer hold you amidst their fragile light show.
Your soothing eyes, your genuine soul,
I long to meet you more than you will ever know.
I’m in love with a girl, so far, but so close.
Far away from her world,
yet I see it when I close my eyes.
And if this is a dream,
please don’t wake me.
You might as well be on the moon,
for now that will do,
or maybe I’m there too.
I love the idea of you.
I’m safer here in a room without a view.
Everyone looks like ants from here,
and the weary eyes casting arcs of clouds with just the thought of you near.
Your constellation, such a faraway station, the alignment of my heart with yours.
As long as I can love you, I’ll never need a moment to myself, to think, to dwell,
to call upon a greater source of wealth.
Or to know who I am.
Because it’s lonely up in here in space.
With this telescope, I’ll never lose sight of your face.
We can circle the stars forever.
Or stay here on the moon together.