I Get It

I get it why people get dogs, write break-up songs, I get it all.

I see why we fight, regardless of who’s right- how you feel.

Don’t we just pretend to

care?

Why it was never that simple.

I get that now.

I see the daylight rise while breathing out those we’ve lost.

I get it all.

Where the coffee pursed my lips, the mirage of October waiting in the wings.

And I get why we play dress up, trick or treat, lie to ourselves, lie to our friends.

I mistook our lies for friendship.

How expendable we are.

The beginning never resembles the end.

I almost forget why I came. And I don’t feel the same.

It breaks my heart to know what we left on the table.

Why we gave it away.

I get it, I get it, I get it all now.

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Everything

When it seems we don’t have enough.
When the sky engulfs the horizon.
When loss only throws shadows on our past.

Where my feet touched ground.
Where the city streets broke innocence.
Where everyday was everything.

What looked so precious from afar trapped behind curtains, behind blinds.
Perpetuating a state of grace, forgiving until you leave it all behind.

I am you.

Forget, I Remember

How can I tell you the same thing over and over, that it’s over, what’s left is a mindset of memories that crystallize, when our trip was no longer of use.
It’s just time to escape, the dog that chases her tail, the endless talk devoid of compassion, every triumph, all that failed.
We were charcoal to ash, broken glass, the searing fire turned pale and grey, watching the planes crash.
Towers much stronger than our defects turned into super powers.
We make stranger friends than enemies.
I’m sorry you lost your brothers, mothers and sons.
No “how was your day?”, no baseball games, or fall days under the sun.
No more trust in those we love.
You can forget, but I will always remember.

Kill the Lights

No coffee, no beer- no more late nights and false idols.
No love, no sex & No family.
No more using my hand for release. No relief
No pain, no regrets, but that’s a lie.
No more lying to myself.

Grease fires and pistol whipped, so sorry that I can’t take it with me.
I put faith in people and things
but they just let me down, and I let me down and now you look at me to share truth.

No more strip clubs, falling off stools- and throwing money at satin skin and broken homes
A life I could never possibly know.
Drown out the hollers for more- we forgive them
And can’t look at ourselves.

No more sleepless nights- you can’t tell them apart
The days bleed out, insomniac, double back & sewage
where the flies circle and circulate
no amount of liquid poured into your stomach allows you to forgive yourself.

No thoughts of death, no more Big Macs,
Pull the stopper on the tub
No more delusions or illusions
No pills for deafening the pain
No allusions that there’s any other way.
No forgiveness, just aftermath
No regrets