afraid.

Knocking on the door, and I know I’ve felt like this before. This road led to an impasse, all I had, but that’s all gone. What has gotten into you? Maybe I never knew, maybe we never do.

I can’t hurt you from here—I can only hurt myself.

This coffee is stale, or maybe it’s my mood, does it really matter to you? Mine is the oil contrasting the ocean—black out the rest of the world. What has gotten into you? Maybe I never knew, maybe we never do.

Bleeding hearts of every color. Until the pain makes room for more.

I’m afraid. Afraid to go anywhere, to do anything. Outside I hear people move, from place to place, town to town. So you think I’m cool as shit, when I’m losing it, and I’m done with this. No more appeal, throwing shade on all that’s real. I will make this place my home.

Uncomfortably until I’m numb. Comfortable, and then I’m done.

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Reclaim

I see your heart pulling away, or is it mine, it’s all the same.
The paint on a log, the multicolored rain. Or is this colorblind for me to find my way?
What was good for you, not ok for me too. Let this moment open a gateway to this half of a heart for me to break.
We are all habits to reclaim.

This hopeful scene plastered in a daydream, the truth, sordid and grey.
Sentiments of fallen ideals, less than real, manufactured in some false display- for you to reclaim.

All those concede, parts of you I didn’t want to see, not in line with my own faults
And the words we had shared, not past lives to bare- believe these moments as truth.

This mind is relentless, searching for heartache and sorrow well spent.
real people matter, feelings we all break.
Because birth to death is not easily explained
No more worry to project.

Swallowed up by the Earth

Is this how you imagined it, when you set out?

City streets, crossroads, seeking new faces.

They look the same, no longer strange, because everything has changed… Were there other plans to slip away?

And could you run, could you hide, or fathom an alternate life; with an ending that may have been written all along?

Its one hell of a ride. When it’s over, who decides? I can’t begin to imagine how you feel.

Just let go of the wheel.

Were there faces and names, broken engagements all written in flames, ashes trailing off in the sky. Sparing everyone else, to make them happy instead of yourself.

How well I play the victim.

Last Breath

Seeking that last breath
Fearing the worst
wasn’t what you thought It’d be
how the skin stretched
In the silence, was the last place you looked

All i ever wanted, no space left for rent in my mind
You say we were haunted
but I was the only one sticking around
()

And all we ever wanted
Just believe
And it’s real
If i had what i wanted
How would i know?
And would i care?
No one ever told me
The last breath, the only one that counts
Climbing the walls
Where the only way is down
The last breath
And the wreckage left behind
The remains that scatter the ground

My life In the real world

You want to see, just what you wanted to see
That won’t make things right
What you believe, when the whole world sold you out

Where i found u
The silence dissolves
What it took to break the calm
We were bound to
The moment we evolved
darkness becomes you

Hideaway

I’m left here with just my thoughts, find myself, then start again
impossible to comprehend, the beginning, now the end
saw our stars collide, hold on, for the thrill of a lifetime
the sky where the moonlight finds, lonely stars- fell to the earth

And we had somewhere to go, where no one could find us
Exhaust the days until night, with our worlds divided